Trump’s Newest Executive Order: Susie Said Shut-Up you SOB’s
The Great Social Media Silence of 2024: In a plot twist that could only come from the mind of a reality TV star turned president, Donald J. Trump has apparently decided that the best way to keep his incoming administration from turning into a circus is by gagging their social media accounts. Yes, you read that right. The man who has tweeted his way through political scandals, international crises, and even his own golf scores, has now ordered his cabinet nominees to put down their phones and step away from the tweet button.
According to various reports, Susie Wiles, Trump’s Chief of Staff, issued a memo that might as well have been titled “Shh! No Tweeting Allowed!” This memo, which sounds more like something from a strict high school principal than a political strategist, insists that all nominees must refrain from any public social media posts without the express permission of the incoming White House counsel. It’s like Trump has decided to play the ultimate game of “Simon Says,” but instead of “Simon says jump,” it’s “Simon says shut up.”
This directive comes just as the new administration is setting up shop, with Senate confirmations looming on the horizon. One can only imagine the panic among those eager to tweet their way into the history books or, more likely, into a political quagmire. The memo was apparently sent out amidst an escalating MAGA brawl over visas, which might explain the sudden need for social media silence. One wonders if Trump’s team realized that in the age of the internet, one ill-timed tweet could be the digital equivalent of stepping on a rake.
The theories surrounding this order are as wild as they are entertaining. Some speculate it’s a strategic move to avoid any gaffes that could derail confirmations. Others think it’s Trump’s way of ensuring the spotlight remains squarely on him – after all, why share the stage when you can have the entire screen to yourself? There’s even a fringe theory that suggests this is all part of a grand plan to actually “Make America Tweet Less” – though that seems less likely than Trump choosing to wear a matching suit and tie.
Evidence of this social media lockdown includes posts on X, where users have been both mocking and applauding the move. Some are comparing it to a medieval king banning his knights from talking in public, while others see it as a necessary evil in an era where every tweet can turn into a political grenade. The trend on X showed a mix of reactions, from Trump supporters urging Republican unity to push through confirmations to critics questioning the authenticity of Trump’s actions, especially after his lauded “landslide victory” which wasn’t quite the landslide it was claimed to be.
But let’s not forget the humor in all this. Imagine the scene: future cabinet members, sitting in their offices, their thumbs twitching, yearning to tweet something, anything, about their day. “I just had a great meeting about infrastructure,” they might think, only to remember they need to get the White House counsel’s approval first. The horror of having to wait for a green light on a tweet about your lunch meeting – it’s the stuff of nightmares for any politician in the digital age.
In the end, while this order might keep the Twitterverse from imploding under the weight of political faux pas, it’s also a poignant reminder of how much power (and entertainment) social media has in politics. Trump, the maestro of the tweet, has decided to silence his orchestra, at least for now. But in the world of politics, silence is often just the prelude to the next big explosion. Stay tuned, because if there’s one thing we know for sure, it’s that silence on social media for Trump’s team will be as short-lived as a tweet in a storm.
