Joe Biden’s Off His Meds Again: Thinks He Could’ve Beat Trump.. Again
In an exclusive chit-chat with USA TODAY, President Joe “I’m Too Old for This” Biden sat down to reminisce about his time in office, probably while wondering if he left the stove on at home. The interview, which might as well have been a nap session, covered his regrets, his legacy, and how he thinks he could’ve taken down Donald Trump in another election – if he remembered how to find the ballot box.
Biden, who’s been around since the dinosaurs roamed the Senate, talked about how he and Trump are like the peanut butter and jelly of politics – forever stuck together in history. He boasted about navigating “fundamental changes” around the globe, which is a nice way of saying he didn’t get lost on his way to the G20.
He also took a moment to ponder what could’ve been if he hadn’t decided to hang up his presidential hat after one term. Apparently, Biden thinks he would’ve won, which is just adorable considering the polls suggested otherwise. He even mentioned how he reestablished alliances that Trump had apparently “frayed” – because, you know, sending mean tweets is the same as declaring war.
Biden also made it clear he’s not a fan of Trump’s approach to, well, everything, especially when it comes to targeting political foes. But let’s be real, with his memory, he might’ve forgotten who his friends are by now.
The transcript of this thrilling interview is available for anyone who has nothing better to do than read how an old-timer reflects on his career while possibly confusing Trump with his childhood dog.
As for what’s next, Biden’s legacy might be remembered as the guy who could’ve been president again, if only he could remember where he put his glasses.
